The book 'How to Be a Friend (In an Unfriendly World): Lessons on Connection' by award-winning filmmaker Barnet Bain has been ranked #25 among the 50 Best Self-Help Books of 2025 by Balanced Achievement, an online publication focused on human wellness through spirituality, psychology, and personal development. This recognition highlights the book's relevance in addressing what Balanced Achievement describes as 'one of the defining challenges of modern life'—loneliness.
Balanced Achievement notes that Bain's work offers 'a thoughtful response grounded in awareness and compassion,' drawing from his involvement with Columbia University's Spirituality Mind Body Institute. The publication explains that the book reframes friendship as 'an ongoing practice of reflection, emotional honesty, and intentional engagement' rather than a skill to be mastered. This approach positions connection as a way of relating that fosters self-understanding, resilience, and meaning.
The book's commercial performance further underscores its impact. 'How to Be a Friend (In an Unfriendly World)' reached #1 on Amazon among new releases in interpersonal relations shortly after its December 9 publication and ranked #32 on Amazon's list of books about friendship. Additionally, BookBub included it among 10 Books to Help You Keep Your New Year's Resolutions, suggesting its practical utility for personal growth.
Bain, known for films like the Oscar-winning 'What Dreams May Come' and 'Jesus'—which The New York Times has cited as potentially the most widely seen film in history—developed the book from a Columbia University master's course he created for psychologists. The content emerged from real conversations about how people connect, listen, and maintain kindness in challenging circumstances. Bain emphasizes that the book is not about fixing people or performing kindness but about 'remembering how to be with others (and with ourselves) even when the world feels impatient.'
The book includes practical elements such as simple ways to connect during overwhelming times, relatable stories about misunderstandings and reconciliation, tools for everyday friendship like listening without fixing and setting boundaries compassionately, and reflections designed to meet readers where they are. Bain describes the book as an invitation to 'slow down, look within, and remember that friendship (like love) begins where self-judgment ends.' In a culture focused on performance and perfection, this message offers a counterpoint that Balanced Achievement suggests 'lands like an exhale.'
The ranking by Balanced Achievement, accessible at https://balancedachievement.com, places Bain's work alongside other influential self-help titles, indicating its potential to contribute to broader discussions about mental health and social connection. As loneliness continues to be identified as a significant societal issue, books like Bain's provide frameworks for addressing it through intentional relational practices. The combination of critical acclaim and commercial success suggests that the book resonates with contemporary needs for authentic connection in an increasingly digital and fragmented world.
