In recognition of National Grief Awareness Day on Aug. 30, trauma expert Judith A. Swack, Ph.D., whose book "Clear Trauma Now: The Powerful Solution for Getting Unstuck" has been named a top book on grief, is shedding light on why some people remain stuck in grief and how they can begin to heal. According to Dr. Swack, unresolved trauma can keep individuals trapped in grief, making it difficult for them to access joyful memories of the person they lost. Instead, every reminder of their loved one can automatically trigger the pain of the moment they died or left.
Dr. Swack explains that during a traumatic loss, the body's fight-flight-freeze response becomes conditioned to remember and react to anything that happened at that time, causing people to repeatedly relive the shock of the event. Healing begins by calming this trauma response so the nervous system no longer reacts as though the loss is happening in the present. To help those struggling, Dr. Swack shares five first steps toward healing.
The first step is to separate the trauma from the person you loved. Many grieving people believe that letting go of the trauma means losing their connection to the deceased. Dr. Swack asserts the opposite: trauma can become fused with the memory of a loved one, causing every remembrance to trigger pain instead of love. Healing the trauma allows positive memories and gratitude to return without relinquishing the relationship.
Second, it is important to identify the "hidden layers" beneath grief. Grief rarely consists of sadness alone. According to Dr. Swack's research, loss trauma often includes shock, fear, anger, hurt, guilt, shame, and feelings of helplessness. Recognizing these underlying emotions is crucial.
Third, listen for limiting beliefs that loss may have created. Traumatic loss often leaves behind unconscious conclusions such as "It's my fault," "People always leave me," "I can't trust anyone," "Who will take care of me?" or "I'm powerless." These beliefs can impact relationships, work, and self-confidence long after the loss, but being aware of them is an important step toward healing.
Fourth, pay attention to the feeling of emptiness. A hallmark of unresolved loss trauma is a deep sense of emptiness or a "hole" in the chest or stomach. Dr. Swack says people often try to fill this void through work, food, relationships, or other compulsive behaviors. Recognizing that the emptiness is part of the trauma response can help people seek healthier ways to heal.
Finally, recognize that healing trauma is not about forgetting someone or "moving on." One of the biggest barriers to recovery is the fear that healing means leaving a loved one behind. Yet resolving the trauma surrounding a loss doesn't erase the relationship. Instead, it allows people to stop reliving the worst moment of their lives and begin remembering the love, joy, and meaning that came before the loss.
"Healing trauma at all levels allows people to easily recall special memories of loving connection and appreciate the ways in which their lives were enriched by having known that person," Dr. Swack said.
Dr. Swack's book, "Clear Trauma Now," was recently named the 2026 Silver Medal Winner for Grief Books by the Coalition of Visionary Resources (COVR). The book details healing practices Dr. Swack pioneered as part of her Healing from the Body Level Up™ (HBLU™) methodology, a comprehensive system designed to clear trauma at the conscious, unconscious, body, and soul levels.
Dr. Swack will present a "Clear Trauma Now Live Healing" webinar on Thursday evenings in September, starting Sept. 3 from 7 to 9 p.m. and continuing on Sept. 10, 17, and 24 from 7 to 8:30 p.m. EDT. For more information, visit hblu.org/live-healing-experience.
